Searching For Spenser: A Mother’s Journey Through Grief


This book is a reminder that living with a most difficult and painful thing gives us choices. Making the right one makes all the difference. Margaret Kramar has written this story for all the right reasons. And no matter who you are, you will find yourself in these pages.

       ~ Maryemma Graham, University of Kansas Distinguished Professor & Founder/Director, Project on the History of Black Writing. Parenting can be a struggle; especially parenting a disabled child. In this flawlessly written memoir, Kramar describes championing her son, diagnosed with Sotos syndrome, through his short life. Searching For Spenser: a Mother’s Journey Through Grief examines the experience of loving and losing a child and reminds us that there is a way forward through the pain and suffering. The wounds, although soul deep, do heal allowing a way to live, love, and laugh again. Kramar’s memoir offers guidance, wisdom and inspiration. It not only speaks to those who have children with disabilities and those who have lost a child, but also those who seek an amazing and surprising story of redemption and hope. In Searching for Spenser, Kramar explores how she was transformed through the experience of Spenser’s life and death. Writing became a creative outlet for her grief and allowed her to share her story with others. “Star Wars,” a chapter from Searching for Spenser, appeared in Echoes from the Prairie in 2013; “The Birthday Party,” another chapter, appeared in Exceptional Parent magazine in 2008, and a short story about Spenser was anthologized in Reading Lips: And Other Ways to Overcome a Disability published by Apprentice House in 2008. What makes a good parent? What defines success? How do we face loneliness and despair? Kramar searches for the answers to these questions after her son Spenser is diagnosed with Soto syndrome.

A graduate of Grinnell College, Margaret Kramar received an MA in journalism from the University of Iowa. Subsequently employed as lifestyle editor for the Denison Newspapers, her work received awards from the Iowa Press Association Better Newspaper Contest and Herbert Bayard Swopes Memorial Awards. In 2012 she received a PhD in English from the University of Kansas and taught English composition, drama and American literature. Previous to the PhD, she was employed for twenty years as a civil rights investigator by the Kansas Human Rights Commission. Her work has appeared in Contemporary American Women: Our Defining Passages, The Grinnell Magazine, newspapers, anthologies and print and digital publications. She and her family live on a small farm in northeast Kansas where they produce organically grown fruits, vegetables and free-range eggs. Please contact the author at:

searching for spenser: A Mother’s journey through grief

FORMAT: Soft cover

ISBN: 978-1-941237-18-2


ISBN: 978-1-941237-21-2

PUBLICATION DATE: november 10, 2018

Searching for spenser Audio book also available!


Soft cover, Hard cover

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